I am self-conscious. I do not think many of you realize this. Mostly because I am extremely outgoing, loud, obnoxious even. I am quiet and introverted. I worry a lot. And I don't really understand why. I get intimidated easily, but normally I try not to show it. In all actuality I am pretty good at faking it all, hiding how I am really feeling. Which is so NOT good. I don't want to do that. I want to be able to actually be confident. And not be intimidated by things.
Recently, someone came into my life who made me want to change how I feel. They have the biggest heart i have ever known. he cares and loves more deeply than anyone. treat me with the utmost respect, and they love me beyond words. Which is crazy to me. I appreciate them. And hopefully they know I love them right back. They believe in me. They pay me such amazing compliments and I want to be able to take them in immediately. I respect this person, love this person. It is probably difficult for this person to understand why I am the way I am. And I want to make it easier for them. I guess really the reason I act this way, or have acted this way, is because I've never had this kind of respect before. I have never been told I am beautiful. Or really that I am good at anything. I was never invited to dances or asked out on dates. Not that it was a big deal to me, but I just never had this in my life before.
It scares me how good this person makes me feel. And I think it scares me because I am afraid to lose it. I am afraid to respect myself, when really that should be the most natural human instinct. I just don't want to screw it up.
I hope this person knows how much I appreciate, respect, and love them.
It is crazy to think how one simple act can affect life as we know it. A simple note. A cup of coffee. A phone call, a text. Tiny, minuscule ideas to some, but powerful moving moments for others.
one moment started a journey. Who knows how that journey will move, how it will venture, how it will maybe one day end. I want this journey to keep going. I want to work towards making it last. One moment started a life.
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