insecure

I've got this insecurity. I've got several. But this one is holding me back. And for some reason, I feel it necessary to display it for everyone. Maybe this will be a cathartic experience for me. Or maybe it will make me more insecure. Let's find out shall we?

Ok. Here it is:

I don't think I am good enough.
Honestly.
And it isn't even rational for me to think that, I know. But for me, I worry that I will never be good enough. For anything. Or anyone. I love my life. I really do. And I should feel good enough. I am just at a point in my life that I am trying to figure a lot of things out. What do I do? What do I like?

What do I want?

Now it took a lot of time. And it will take a lot of thinking, I am sure, but I realized today that I do know what I want, this insecurity is the only thing holding me back. So here it goes. I am throwing it to the wind.

Pain and suffering are often the catalysts for life's most profound lessons, ideas, and accomplishments. We should not be defined on how we act in a good situation, but how we react to adversity, obstacles and trials.

The tribulations and hardships are what shapes us as humans. How can we face these head on, and move on from them, taking only the lessons they teach us in hand, not the scars they may have left? Simply posing the question is just the first step and then realizing you are stronger than anything put in front of you. We would not be given the rough stuff unless someone out there knew we could handle it.

I don't have to live up to anyone else's standards but my own. And for that matter, no one who really, truly loves me has standards like that. They will love me for who I am, not for what they want me to be. I am being tested now, and I definitely failed the first couple times. But regrets and mistakes, they're memories made. And you only stop living when you stop trying to get back up after a fall.

I'm getting back up. Even if I am a little worse for the wear. And covered in dirt.

I know what I want. And I am ready to get it. I want to be happy. And really there is only one thing, one person, who does that. So I'm ready to go. I'm ready. 

Sometimes it needs to be the little things in life that make and keep you happy. Here's to continued little things.