week of birthdays!

this will probably happen more than once in the coming months. especially in april. i don't know what happened, but i know a lot of people with april birthdays. but it isn't april yet. it is nearly march.

so i am going to wish all my buds a happy happy birthday!!!!

PAULY!!!

i'm so glad we became better friends this summer! i wish you all the happiness and luck on your birthday! thank you always for your love and support!


CHELSEA aka PAMELA 2!

you are going to hate me for this photo, but it was a good one. i literally snorted. we look amazing... :)
i do not know where i would be without your friendship and love. you are too awesome for words. and i'm glad we get to be friends. can't wait for camp and whatever the future holds! happy birthday oldy!!! welcome to the club!

birthdays are for loving and celebrating life. get out there and enjoy... we only get so many anyways!!!

sunday morning.

oh sunday. i love them. and i also love not using correct grammar or punctuation. so i am going to take advantage of that now. sorry to my english lover friends. i just am not feeling it. what i am feeling is a bit nostalgic for the days when i could color outside the lines and not have to put in punctuation. so... here we go.
sundays are probably my favorite day. they are definitely days i get lost in. time flies by which i am not particularly a fan of, but it happens so i deal. i feel as though i can sleep in longer on sundays, but really i cannot. i actually seem to wake up earlier, but i always wake up more refreshed and ready for the day.
today was one of those days. add on a couple cups of coffee... and i was beyond ready.
i did not get as much accomplished as i would have liked, but i got stuff done. mostly stuff in my head. lists, ideas, etc. what i really worked on though was belief. belief in myself, belief in others, belief in my abilities and capabilities. today was better than yesterday. and hopefully tomorrow is another improvement as well.

finishing out a beautiful sunday, for a marvelous monday? i hope so.


what do you like about sunday?

start.

chills course through veins and bones
over hill and dale through bodies waiting
patient to put themselves through pain unknown.

traveling themselves from far off
breezeways opened through shimmering harriers
frigid anticipation for the final call

layers fall to hardened ground
stripped to shimmering skins
lightest of light spiked toes urging to rip the earth

the call is made
runners to your mark
silence. thunder.

no noise by runners heard
only fight. and push off the line.
gliding through the race they go...

barely through my morning coffee...

“All human wisdom is summed up in two words - wait and hope” - Alexandre Dumas

Patience is a virtue. Truer words were never spoken. But honestly, those words suck. Patience sucks. I just want to get it done now. But I guess that is sort of the human way isn't it? We want everything. And we want it now. Hello, when I found out there was drive through Starbucks? I thought I had literally died and gone to heaven. Ok, not really. But seriously...

Last night I got home from a relatively long day, plenty exhausted, but not quite sleepy. I sure wanted to. Definitely. But it was one of those "ok--I'd like to got to sleep now!" moments. Which it all ended up working out because AMC was having a movie marathon of Shawshank Redemption. Thank you.

Well at the part when the guys are helping Andy set up a new library. And the one guy cannot pronounce Alexandre Dumas, I thought of this quote. And I interpret it this way.

We must wait. We must wait to become wise. In waiting we gain experience. We cannot be wise at 13. We can be wise beyond our years, yes. But we will not know the full meaning to many things. And as we grow and change and learn, our ideas and perspectives change. Like this. This may seem so very, completely obvious to some people, whereas this morning after only one cup of coffee I am feeling pretty good about my knowledge. I feel enlightened.
I can hope that I get to become wise as well. If I am not meant to be, I sure can pretend to. But hey, I would kinda like to be. All I can do is wait. And learn all that I can. Which means I better get up and get another cup of coffee. It's gonna be a long day.

cover

Lately, I have taken to making my way home from work a little longer. It is normally a ten minute drive; eight if I throw the car into neutral down the hill. But recently I have needed a moment or two, or fifteen, to breathe.
And luckily I actually hit a good time on my way home that I get some tunage on the radio, not just ads or ramblings that get me more worked up and frustrated. And yet...

Looking back on my day, I have probably already run twice, ellipticalled, lifted, and worked. I'm exhausted ready for dinner and bed. A lot to undertake and jam all in there, but I also have no life. I do this. And on a lucky night of the week I get to have actual human interaction! Granted, it is with a sixteen month old and normally it is just to make sure he does not throw his food around and get his pajamas on before parents get home. But, it is interaction. I'll take it. Slowly, I am getting myself out there. And making FRIENDS. We'll see where that goes.

Anyways, my fingers naturally are guided to the CD button, pressed to number five. and skip to track seven. The song I was listening to before anyone else was and then three months later I heard it every other song on almost every radio station. But this time, I still listen to it. But a different version. Tyrone Wells sings this one, and I've heard it done by many others.

Last night I got to thinking. As we all know. that is just no good.
However, this time, I really, really got to thinking. Covers of music. The same ideas are behind the music. I mean each artist is singing the same words, but do they have the same meaning? It is like looking at everyday things and seeing them differently than the person next to you. I may see a red apple, but you may see the most delicious snack you have ever tasted. You may see it as just another race, but I see it as a ticket to something else, to something more.

Either way, if I hear this song my way. So I want to know, how do you hear it?

VDay

Happy Valentine's Day, world!
I don't actually like this holiday, but I thought I would say it anyways. I just got back from a run. And I had this blog typed out in my head within the first few miles. So I needed to get it down, before I forgot.



Maybe it isn't that I don't like this holiday, but that I do not really understand it. Why is it that this one day is made for love? It's a Monday. Why can't show love next Monday? Or tomorrow? Or next month? Why is it that today, of all days, we are supposed to express our love? Or is it that we must express it more? Why can't I hold someone's hand other times of the year? I like chocolate. So I do like that part of the holiday. If I had the money I would buy a lot today. I'm finding some quarters.

I'll just buy it on sale tomorrow. And I'll keep on lovin'. Always. So, you keep it up too, ok? Cool.

one year has passed...

it has been one year since i had decided my life sucked. almost exactly to the day. i remember the smell of the library upstairs as i was supposed to be working on my fifty page paper and instead i was blogging and complaining about how horrid my life was. the still of the hum coming from the heaters in the quiet room upstairs. Rows upon rows of books telling me exactly how i was to portray information within these fifty white pages. i was choosing not to write it for various reasons. mostly because i was too lazy to actually go about writing anything at all. really i was not writing because i was trying to "stick it" to my professor. it had been torture attending this class all semester long and this paper was not going to be an easy task to undertake. like many papers i was being given a choice: pick a topic and explain the significance; like many papers i had written before. however, this time, i hated the idea of this paper. no. actually, i loathed it. i did not want to spend hours in the library writing it. i did not want to waste m time coming up with something that i would not really whole-heartedly believe in. something that i would just as soon throw onto my pile of papers to be filed for a later date. Something that would go into my portfolio, but i wouldn't really believe in. But the thing I was not realizing, was that I had a choice. And my choice this day was to be obnoxious. I was choosing to write a paper about not choosing. Not choosing the topic that would make me angry. I was choosing, however, to write about the topic of not choosing. By not choosing a topic or a style, I was actually choosing one. I was making it all subjective; as the English degree is primarily understood.
While I try to be completely objective in my writing, and in my life for that matter, EVERYONE will see it in their own way. Everyone. Everyone has their own opinions and ideas. And here, in this new year, I will make it known: I respect you. All of you. You have the right to your opinions and your views. I respect that. Got to be a trick right? Nope. No strings attached. But all I ask for in return is that you respect me. I will not judge you, but I ask you not to judge me in return.

I am choosing to write about a time when I was being indignant towards a subject matter. I did not want to write according to the actual subject matter. I was irritated at having to stay inside the lines. I was proverbially "sticking it to the man." And in this case, it could have caused me a passing grade.

By choosing now to respect you, friends, I am hoping you know that I am again, sticking it to the man. And in this case it is a worldwide man. I see so many passing judgement on others and it truly saddens me. Do we not realize we are also being judged? And at times, unfairly. So put this to our own lives. Would we want to be judged in such a manner?

The new year. Time for fresh starts. New ideas. Clean slates. Fearlessness.

I for one choose, in the year 2011, to be fearless. Take risks. Jump. And know something is there to catch me. TO have Faith in the unknown. Belief in the impossible. Subjectively choose to not judge, respect all, and most importantly to love. Hopefully I am not seen as rebellious in my ideas. But I'm ok with that if I am.

And maybe I'll still get a passing grade.